PhD viva... tahniah buat suamiku

Alhamdulillah setelah 3 jam defending his thesis

semalam, 7 oktober 2011 bermula pukul 10 pagi

dengan 2 examiner

tanpa kehadiran SV di viva room untuk memberi sokongan

beliau lulus PhD nye with minor corrections

examiners yang begitu helpful memberi macam2 pandangan

bukan nye harsh critisim 

membuatkan suasana viva beliau dikatakan seperti dalam discussion sahaja

mungkin kelebihan beliau yang dapat menjawab soalan-soalan yang dikemukan walaupun tidak pasti betul atas salah (asalkan jawab, tidak diam kaku) menjadi salah satu kriteria 

sebelum viva.... (masih mampu tersenyum, walaupun nampak kelat-kelat sikit :p)

and yang bawah nih pula....

masa dah lepas viva... senyum ceria

berita suamiku akan viva nih hanya ku ketahui 2 hari sebelum

dia senyap-senyap tidak memberitahu ku sejak mengetahui date viva 2 minggu lepas

even dia potong rambut, beli coat seminggu lepas pun aku masih tidak dapat menghidu (lurus betul !)

sedangkan kawan-kawan lain dah assume beberapa hint

 orang lain tanye2 dan seperti sudah tahu tarikh tersebut

tapi ku seperti tiada klu

sehinggakan seriously ku tanya dia, betul ke dia dah tau tarikh viva (seminggu lepas) 

pun suami ku masih nak sorok2 lagi

so aku percaya je leee belum lagi

kemuncaknye masa 3 hari lepas, masa nak menghanta kak farizah pulang ke malaysia

tetiba kak zanah kate suamiku cuti khamis jumaat

and heran lee aku, wat pe le nak cuti (bukan tak byk cuti ke) dah le minggu depan kene cuti lagi sbb nak temankan ku pi conference kat portugal

then alasan diberi, utk menghabiskan cuti tahunan

tapi tuhle, aku percaya jee

then masa on the way balik rumah, dah petang rabu tuh, baru le dia bagitau, dia nak viva jumaaat

bermula lah aktiviti tidak senang duduk ku

setiap malam ( 2 malam jee) buat solat hajat utk dia

mimpi2 pun mimpi pasal suami ku viva jugak

(huhuhuh)

that's why laah dia tak bagitau ku awal-awal

kerana dia tahu isterinya cannot bear the pressure

tuh baru org lain yang viva (bukan diri sendiri)

ku dapat bykan pressure nye bile diri sendiri nak viva

ku tengok suamiku memberitahu my 4 years old imran ' Imran, esok papa nak viva'.. dengan reaksi imran yang bersahaja (yele mane de budak tuh paham viva tuh ape kan)...  yee suamiku cuba utk mengurangkan pressure tersebut dengan bercakap dgn 4 years old kid. (huhuh

sebelum pergi viva, aku gosokkan kemeja (first time gosok kemeje kat UK nih ..huhu)

then masakkan nasi goreng...

then masa tengah viva, aku kat rumah nih lagi le tak senang duduk

makan pun tak rasa ape2

huhuhu

ku bacakan yassin, surah al-mulk dari jauh

then pukul 1.30 tgh hari, terima lah panggilan telefon yang ditunggu-tunggu

mula-mula ku tanya je mcm mane viva,

tak nak terus tanye result..

(berdebar-debar nih)

tanya pasal soalan-soalan ....

then barule dari situ disimpulkan, berapa byk corrections..

and alhamdulilah

berkat hari Jumaat (walaupun dia tak sempat nak solat Jumaat)

finally

alhamdulilah

title itu tidak penting

yang penting adalah amanah yang diberikan oleh pihak u.tm and pihak kpt untuk menyelesaikan PhD terlaksana

menunaikan amanat itu tanggungjawab kan

fuuuuh

kurang satu pressure dalam family kami

then lepas nih aku pula...but not this year.... next year

doakan saya lulus PhD saya juga ye

aminn...

Pecut!

Bulan September

genap 2 tahun aku buat PhD

tapi bila mengira balik

kerja yang dah dibuat

ooh sikitnye

baru run 1 eksperimen

tuh pun tak capai objectif lagi

bile mengira balik kerja yang kene buat

ooooh banyak nye

tak menang tangan nih

takutnye

scary!!!

masa open house rumah kak munirah

berborak2 ngan kak ary

yang tengah nak submit thesis dia

and viva

kire dia dapat settle sebelum kene renew visa la

kire dalam 3 tahun dia dapat siapkan aaa phd dia

oooh kagum betul

bile tanye mcm mane cara kerja

dia banyak wat kerje kat rumah

datang lab bile ada meeting or discussion

even kat rumah 

dia memang workaholic

kerja dari 6 pagi sampai 6 petang

then tido 

sampai tengah malam

bangun lagi sambung

tuh dalah fasa writing-up dia la

tapi dalam years sebelum ni

dia akan pastikan everyday memag buat kerja

minimum 4 jam sehari

makesure plan yang dibuat utk sehari itu siap

walaupun dalam low quality!!!

akan aku contohi dia

insyaAllah

walaupun rasanya

mcm dah terlambat aje

tinggal setahun je lagi nih!

pecut!!!!!!!!

tahun kedua viva

Alhamdulilah
2 July selesai sudah viva 2nd year
sehari sebelum assessment tuh, assessor email kate syarat baru dikeluarkan oleh school
assessment itu hanya dihadiri oleh student and assessor shj
aku gembira kerana tiada XX
sedikit gusar kerana tiada MM yang tolong support
tapi lagi best I can tell everything dgn confident nye
sbb tiada sesiapa yang tahu, melainkan aku ..haha

I had very fruitful discussion
Assessor tuh siap 'minta maaf kerana menjadi devil advocate even tho dia tau itu role dia sepatutnya'
mula-mula je situasi agak tegang kerana dia argue tentang term mashup up dgn dataset yang aku guna itu.
yang lain, sumenye dia membantu supaya experiment aku mencapai objectif
walaupun dia hanya membaca daripada report, dia dapat mengagak kekurangan dalam previous experiments
yang menjadi punca experiments aku tuh standard pilot je
bagus kan....
kenapa kedua-dua SV aku tak detect bende2 tuh
adakah kerana mereka tidak meneliti experiments aku satu persatu

seperti biasa si XX memang sengaja timbulkan masalah
dia la shj arrange dgn assessor supaya viva aku ni dibuat dalam tempoh 9 bulan
wlupun ketika itu, findings tak seberapa
then dia pulak tidak setuju langsung dgn direction baru research aku nih
wlupun itu telah mendapat kerjasama MM
siap dia kate, ooo saya tak paham langsung ape yang awak nak buat
dan tak nampak logik disebaliknye
tapi apa yang saya kate tidak penting
yang penting adalah ape yang assessor kate
confident aje kenkonon assessor akan tidak setuju juga
sekali.........

tapi bile aku tanye awak cadangkan la solution yang lebih logik
hah, tak nak pulak bagi cadangan
dah elok2 MM tolong aku masa aku terkapai-kapai ritu
hang pulak tak setuju, tapi tak nak bagi solution
apa yang dia tau bagi
hanyalah kritikan kritikan ..tapi sumenye kabur!


Aku bersyukur kerana Allah membantu ku sekali lagi
dan memang kate-kate ini menjadi motivasi ku

Allah did not promise that life would be easy,but
He did promise to go with you every step of your life with Him by
your side..believe in Allah... (iluvislam.com)

nasib baik MM and assessor ku tidak demand tinggi mcm dia
sbb si XX tuh siap bagi aku satu list requirement of PhD level
kenkonon proposal aku yang telah dipersetujui oleh MJ tuh tak cukup syarat aaa
sekali ....
bile aku tanye assessor dia kate, memang cukup dah utk PhD
hah......
if sekali lagi si XX buat hal, memang aku nak buat rayuan, nak carik org lain
masuk ni dah 3 kali dia buat hal

satu masa aku nak apply cuti 3 minggu last year
kedua masa tengah design experiment, boleh dia tulis dalam report ke school aku tak buat kerje selama 8 bulan (sbb tuh dia suruh aku viva cepat2, katenye aku takde harapan nak lulus second year!)
ketiga, masa nak hanta tahun kedua report kepada assessor, buleh pulak dia tak setuju research work plan aku! dia kate tak cukup phd standard!

tak termasuk lagi statement rajuk dia yang bikin aku upset setiap kali nak set up meeting
pelik betul!

First year Assessment

Alhamdulilah..

harini, selamat sudah tahun pertama PhD ku
dgn memasuki bilik meeting dan dgn rasa boringnye menerangkan step by step experiment2 yang bakal aku buat nanti.

Alhamdulilah, masuk2 je assessor tuh kemain memuji, interesting research topic la.. kate takde ape nak tanye... cuma utk menghabiskan masa sejam for assessment, dia nak suruh aku membebel pasal experiment approach.

Dalam aku menerang2kan dgn susah payahnye and ntah berapa kali repeat tah word tuh.. si gary ni aku tengok terkulat2 dia memahamkan ape yang cuba aku sampai kan.. hahahahaha

and SV aku yang first tolong elaborate dgn lebih mendalam.

aku rasa mcm aku bukan di assess time tuh. cuma mungkin sebagai budak baru belajar, dengar sahaja lecturer2 ni memberi idea.. aku sekadar pencatat sahaja.. hahaha

antara komen Gary yang aku ingat;
1. len kali kene structure report tuh, supaya jgn nampak berulang2.. (betul jugak, bile aku tengok balik... berapa banyak ulang2 la the same idea)

2. kene pk practical approach utk seeded error on data.. kene pk and buat worksyop dulu dpn colleagues and expertise (psychologist and HCI) tentang practical approach sblm run the real experiment

3. mungkin aku takperlu utk highlight the error... let users evaluate the errors by themselves.

4. asking percentage of accuracy is not practical because it could lead to another direction

5. 30 participant are not enough..

6. why not considering OSM data

tapi memang hari ni mcm mengulang sejarah.. sbb masa aku master dulu, SV aku pun support aku dulu walau ape pun terjadi...and time PhD, sv aku jugak tolong support statements aku yang tak begitu kukuh dgn hujah2 profesornye....

yang aku tengok, assessor aku ni kemain menjaga budi bahasa pabila SV aku memberi hujah.. close relationship diorang ni membuat aku teringat dgn relationship Sv1 and Sv2 aku p.m.mohd nor - cik zamri dulu... kemain respectnye...

dulu masa undergrad and master, kawan yang memahami kekalutan aku dan sentiasa memberi motivasi adalah bakal Dr Izham yang akan dapat PhD insyaAllah tahun depan.. tapi masa PhD ni memang terasa sorang2 sbb masing2 sibuk dgn PhD nye.. suami pun sibuk2 jugak menyiapkan kerja2 PhD yang sentiasa last minute tuh.. haiii bile la cik abang ni nak insaf..

so bile aku kelam kabut.. takde sapa yang dapat tolong menyupport... alhamdulilah, ada kak fadz, sudi proof read beberapa docs... tapi aku rasa SV aku ni pencinta bahasa, kira kalu bahasa melayu, taraf cikgu bahasa la... kemain dia menetapkan kesesuaian bahasa yang aku kene guna... haiiii, poning-poning... (sbb dia tau aku lemah tang bahasa, kemain dia support statements aku masa depan Gary tadi... haiiii, bile la aku nak pandai english ni ....

hanya doa kepada Allah yang berpanjangan tak henti2.. doa supaya jgn laa last minute.. (sb memang tebiat aku hantar mesti lasti minute, dah rancang sejak berbulan2 yang lalu, tapi mesti kelam kabut jugak last minute).. sbb tuh masa hari nak hanta, seminggu yang lepas, aku siap tak tido semalaman, siapkan tugas remeh temeh (reference, contents, proof read) ... dah disebabkan ku tunda waktu tido ku.. aku hanta jugak gi binding and letak dalam pigeon hole assessor pada hari yang ditetapkan.. fuuuh, rasa mcm nak pengsan je time tuh.... sbb tak tido semalam..rasanya kalu tutup mata sambil berdiri, pun boleh terlelap...

alhamdulilah, aku hanta jam 4 petang...and Gary siap email kepada aku and serge utk hanta hari esoknye last... kira aku hanta awal la tuh, takde last minit.. hehehe

masa assessment tadi, akunye jam 12.30 tgh hari... sebelum tuh turn serge student phd darri poland... tapi dia kene resubmit and reviva.. takut jugak aku time dia cakap camtuh.. tapi alhamdulilah..aku tak kene camgitu...

Pemalas!

Wahai diriku,

Agreement sudah disign,
Duit dah guna wat shopping,
Progress mcm mane pulak?

Ape masalahnye?
Research context pun takleh nak siap
Sebab ape?
Sebab tak pandai nak karang ayat
Bih tuh orang lain tuh pandai sangat ke?
Diorang pun learn from their experience
Takde manenye dalam tempoh sekejap boleh menghasilkan sentence cantik sebegitu

Ape lagi masalah?
Tak pandai tulis omputeh
Bih tuh wat ape masuk uni omputeh?
Terpaksa
Bih tuh nak wat camne, Quit?
Dah terlewat, mane boleh.. byk ikatannye
So ape solutionnye
Tulis and tulis and keep going, tulis !
Hah, pandai pun jawab!

Ape lagi masalah?
Masalah paragraph tak berganjak2, asyik pikir mcm2 kene letak
So buatlah structure
Dah buat dah
Bih tuh?
Tak pandai nak wat ayat bunga-bunga
Sapa suruh letak bunga?
Sbb cantik
Tak penting tuh, yang penting mesej sampai
Yang penting, asalkan siap :)

Jadual Full

1 Sept - Submit First year Proposal kepada assessor (Dr Gary)

7 Sept- First year VIVA

7 Oct - Postgrad Seminar

21 Oct - Moving to a new building at another campus


Alamak.. mcm mane ni.. jadual ketat.. tak dapat balik raya la jawabnye :(

First Year Annual Review

Sebulan yang lalu, kedua-dua supervisor aku sepakat utk membenarkan aku submit first year report pada bulan september, iaitu enam bulan akan datang. Six months plan telah dipersetujui bersama. Tetiba pada mesyuarat SV minggu lepas, masuk2 je diorang terus berbincang supaya aku menghantar first year report pada bulan Jun, maknenye 3 bulan lagi.

Memang terkejut la aku, sbb research thoughts baru saja nampak jelas pada pertengahan bulan Mac, dan diakhir bulan Mac, mereka suruh aku submit first year report pada bulan 6 lak. Macammane ni, dahle thoughts pun belum well organized, and mesti jugak nak masuk sedikit experiments dalam report..takkan sekadar LR jee.. waaaaa .... lagi 3 bulan ni

Entah ape tah mimpi diorang tuh tetiba je tuka daripada perancangan 6 bulan lagi ke 3 bulan. Tapi memang sepatutnye kalu ikut school aku kene hanta 9 bulan dari tarikh aku register, bulan 6 nanti la..tapi aku dah tanya daaah diorang, maksud aku SV..siap kate boleh aja hanta report 12-14 months...so bulan sept tuh memang cun aaa sbb sekali boleh cover dgn pilot eksperimen...



tapi.....minggu lepas diorang suh lain lak...eeerk ape sebelum ni aku meeting bersama klon diorang ke...hukhukhukhuk :( tetiba je berubah fikiran lak

SMART

I am very happy today... lepas meeting dgn 2nd Supervisor.. kerana aku berjaya menjawab soalannye, ape kah yang dimaksudkan dgn SMART.. hahaha ape SMART tuh

SMART merupakan satu konsep membantu kita dalam 'project management' bagi menjayakan objektif projek kita.

Masuk2 je, Bob siap dah tulis kat papan putih dia, SMART dan suruh aku kasi maksud acronym tuh.

Nasib baik aku dah hafal awal2 dah.. sbb mcm dah agak2 dah BOB akan tanye, sbb sebelum ni dia dah sound aku, suruh ingat sume dalam otak, tak main la tulis2 ni.. huhuhuhu

S - Specific
M- Measurable
A- Achievable & Attainable
R- Resourceable
T- Time

So dalam setiap perancangan dalam PhD projek contohnya, setiap yang kita plan, kene make sure all the SMART kriteria dah diambil kira - bagi menjayakan perlaksanaan projek PhD itu..

So aku gembira hari ini, sbb Bob tak 'pandang rendah' pada aku sbb aku dah hafal that simple acronym ..huhuhuh

Kalu tidak aku rasa, mcm bodoooooh aje bile depan Bob tuh..huhuhuh

Semangat PhD

Before joining PhD:

* I want to win the Nobel Prize.
* I want to win the Turing Award.

First year of PhD:

* I want to finish PhD in two years.
* I want to publish papers only in top tier conferences.
* I want to make ground-breaking research.
* I want to win the best PhD Thesis award.

Second yearof PhD:

* I want to finish PhD in 5 years.
* I want a problem.
* Shall I change my advisor?

Third yearof PhD:

* I want a paper; I don't care which conference..
* Shall I change my topic?
* I want to be known as Dr bhOndOO.

Fourth year of PhD:

* I want to finish PhD!
* My industry-friends have two children by now. When will I get
married?

Fifth year of PhD:

* Why did I come here?
* Why did I choose this advisor?
* Why did I choose this topic?

Sixth year of PhD:

* Someone give me a degree!
* I want to leave this place — forever.
* Let me leave.

Seventh year of PhD:

* People call me uncle.
* She waited and finally married someone else..
* I don't want any degree. I just want to live peacefully

PhD Tips

Acknowledge 'bout this book from kak fadz blog, thanks kak fadz...
as the contents of that book sound interesting. Might be very helpful for me as didn't know the culture of doing PhD with Englishman.
Have tried to search and intend to borrow this book from library. And search from Amazon site as well. Unfortunately, it seem the book only available in Aussie.. Hmm........

by the way, I found a few PhD tips that summarized from the book....
from this site.
It's really helpful....

The 7 secrets of highly successful PhD students

Researchers who know and make use of these seven secrets get through their doctorate more quickly, and just as importantly are happier, according to the Staff Development and Training Unit, Flinders University, Australia.

1. Care and maintenance of your supervisors
* Meet regularly with your supervisors (even if they think it is not that necessary)
* Discuss and negotiate your progress regularly
* Understand your different styles. If your supervisor keeps wanting you to follow up new leads and you are happy to, and you are five years into your study, it is time to get some outside perspective and guidance
* If it is not working out, do something about it. Don't just think it will get better or that you can do it on your own

2. Write and show as you go: This is show and tell, not hide and seek
* Always write and show as you go. If you are reading and not writing, after about 3 or 4 weeks you will forget what you have read
* Writing and showing your work forces you to stay on track and refine your thinking
* Writing is helpful because at the end you can't hand in your head full of lots of good ideas
* Set deadlines for your writing and handing in. People generally don't write because of issues of perfectionism, so avoid this with deadlines
* Generally it is a good idea to write journal articles (on your exact thesis topic), as you go
* Practice writing with your peers, this can be very effective

3. Be realistic: It's not a Nobel Prize
* When you are doing PhD you are learning how to do a PhD, you are not expected to know this in advance
* Original work does not mean a cure for cancer. In reality it means one small step in advancing existing knowledge
* Do not go off on tangents in the hope of answering 'The question', stay focused
* You have a cast iron guarantee right now that your thesis will not, cannot and probably should not, be perfect
* Separate yourself from your PhD. It's a bunch of thoughts on a piece of paper, it's not you. Put it in perspective

4. Say no to distractions: Even the fun ones and the ones you think you must do
* Set priorities and be realistic about what you can do
* Do the important rather than the immediately urgent
* Cleaning scum build-up from the shower may be more fun than your PhD, but it won't get the thesis done. Resist this and other urges, and keep writing! --- huahuahau :).. mengemas lagi best dari buat PhD
* The golden rule to avoid over-commitment is don't let anything eat into your set study times, or as you would with a job, make the time up if interruption is unavoidable

5. It's a job: That means working nine to five but you get holidays
* You may not work from nine to five, but you definitely need fixed hours. Otherwise how should you know when you should be working?
* Set up a proper workplace. A bus station, university corridor or the lounge room with a TV on are not proper work areas
* Like a job, if you take time off, make it up somewhere else. You wouldn't just not show up to work for three days with no consequences
* Set deadlines and targets. There are very few jobs where the boss says "I'll see you in three years time with that report"
* When you stick to your work times, you get guilt-free time off in the evenings and holidays (like a job). Don't try to squeeze more out of yourself. You'll just kill the goose that lays the golden eggs

6. Get help: You are not an owner-operator single person business
* This means you are allowed to get help. Not only are you allowed, but you will greatly reduce time and effort if you do
* Get help from statistics consultants, editors, methodologists, academics, peers, your supervisors...
* Use any and all formal assistance in the university/institution including tutors and graduate schools, skills development and faculty staff

7. You can do it: A PhD is about intelligence and persistence
* You would not have got this far if you did not have the intelligence to do it. If you feel like impostor, be reassured that most people doing a PhD feel that way
* Persistence is at least as important ingredient; this comes from habits like meeting regularly with your supervisors, treating PhD like a job etc.
* So in fact the final habit of a highly effective PhD researcher is to know and believe that you can do it, and when the going gets tough, keep going!

This statement really inspired me ...

Hawani, you can do it kerana...

A PhD is 90% persistence and 10% intelligence

Papa.. let's pass over this burden of responsibility with persistence....

Bob oh Bob

Aisyah: Bu, nak BOB bu, nak BOB (bob tuh cartoon Sponge bob)
Ibu: Asyik-asyik nak Bob je ..nak tgk ceta lain tak boleh ..dah le BOB tuh supervisor ibu...

aise...dah le aku fobia dgn 2nd supervisor aku itu, bernama BOB jugak... kene hanta research idea kat dia...dia suh circulate dah secepat mungkin..dah seminggu ni..lagi seminggu kene jumpa depan mata....

aisyah pulak sebut BOB BOB.... makin pening kepala aku (rasa mcm nak demam pun ada) sbb tak jumpa idea lagi nak wat ape lepas BOB reject akunye proposal